FRIEND: you gotta go home and show your wife who's boss ME: damn right [later] ME: jen listen up *pulls out photo* this is my manager tim

Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a copy of your naughty list. Love, -Tim

Tim: This is Tim from accounting. Me: Hi Tim from accounting. Tim: Just say Tim. Me. Tim. Tim: How are you today? Me: Tim.

What if animals were injured in the making of a film. would it say ''Tim hurt one monkey... he feels bad."