The Italian Barber (source: my dad) “What we do for you today?” asked the barber. “Oh, just a good trim,” I replied. “I’m going on holiday.” “Oh?” said the barber. “Where you go?” “Italy.” “Italy!” exclaimed the barber. “I from Italy! Where in Italy?” “Rome.” “Ah, Roma," he sighed wistfully, continuing my haircut. “I have an audience with the Pope.” “You see il Papa??” He turned and shouted upstairs, “Maria! Maria!” “What?” replied an irritated voice from upstairs. “Dissa gennelma…

Bring me back a nice Italian girl A man is dropping off his wife, who's being sent on a business trip to Italy, at the airport. Before saying his goodbyes, he quips ""Now be sure to bring me back a nice Italian girl."" A week later, he's back at the airport to pick her up. After kissing her hello, he says ""So did you get me that nice Italian girl?"" to which the wife responds ""Well I did my best, but we're going to have to wait 9 months to find out if it's a girl.""

Two with sausage and meatballs, two without A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. ""But how will I let you know the baby is born?"" she asked. He replied, ""Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses."" Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six mo…

From an old National Lampoon record A guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The comedian comes out for his first act of the evening and says, a guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. The comedian comes out for his second act of the evening and says, a guy walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm. Just then, a guy in the audience says, I think I've heard this before. The comedian says, maybe you caught my first act. The man says, not lik…