TEXAS SURVIVOR Texas is trying to capitalize on the popularity of the show ""Survivor"" by hosting its own version. Contestants will have to drive from Amarillo and visit checkpoints in the following cities, Lubbock - Dallas - Waco - Austin - Houston - Laredo - San Antonio - El Paso and finish back in Amarillo. Contestants will be give a pink Saab with a bumper stickers that read, ""I'm Gay, I'm Vegan, I Voted for Al Gore, and I'm here to confiscate your guns!"" The contestant who makes it back …

While we're in the business of Texas jokes... A blind man decides to take a vacation. After talking to a few friends, he is convinced that he should visit Texas. He books his flight and soon after heads to the airport. He gets on the plane, and while finding his seat exclaims "Wow, these seats are much larger than normal!" One of the flight attendants turns to him and says "Everything's bigger in Texas." He arrives in Dallas and decides to try some local cuisine. He orders a BBQ burger, and af…

The Pope visits Texas The Pope was state bound scheduled to give a speech in Dallas, TX. On their way to the venue the Pope rolls down the privacy glass in the limo and says to his chauffeur, "Hey, you know what? I've always rode in these things, but I've never driven one! Do you mind if we switch spots?" Being it was the Pope himself, the chauffeur felt he couldn't say no so he obliged and exchanged seats. It had been years since the Pope had driven, and he was having the time of his life crui…

A blonde gets eye surgery... A blonde gets eye surgery, which results in her eyes being bandaged up. She handles it really well, resulting in her adapting quickly to using a white cane. Eventually, she decides to take a trip to Texas, because hey, pretty soon she'll be able to take the blindfolds off and enjoy the view. Her friends help her pack and purchase a plane ticket, and soon she gets on the flight. Once she lands in Dallas, she goes to a nearby restaurant. After getting a drink there,…