Two married man talking.. 1st man: Im so lucky, my wife is an angel. 2nd man: Good for you! Mine's still alive.

3 men and their lunch 3 men were sitting eating their lunch... The 1st man had Spag Bol for lunch and yelled out in frustration - ""Spag Bol! SPAG BOL AGAIN!! I swear if I get Spag Bol for lunch again I will kill myself >("" The 2nd man had a Turkey Sandwich for lunch and he yelled out in frustration - ""Turkey Sandwich! TURKEY SANDWICH AGAIN!! I swear if I get Turkey Sandwich for lunch again I will kill myself >("" The 3rd man had Roast Beef for lunch and he also yelled out in frustration…

2 guys in the barber shop The barber finishes the 1st man shave and asks if he wants some colone. The man replies: No thanks, my wife would think i went to the brothel. After he finishes the shave on the second man he makes the same question. To which he replies: Sure, my wife has never been to a brothel, she doesnt know the smell.

1st man: You know, husband and wife aren't allowed together in heaven! 2nd man: Yes, I know! That's why it's called heaven!