Two spiders are at another spiders funeral. ""Peter was the most gentle spider I ever knew. He wouldn't hurt a fly."" ""Yeah, that's true. Do you know what he died from?"" ""Starvation.""

A man walks up to the pearly gates... ""What brings you here, sir?"" asks St. Peter ""An incredibly long and arduous fight with the big C"" replied the man. ""The big C?"" ""Cancer"" said the man, solemly. ""Well we have a space for you in gods kingdom, please enter and enjoy unknown spoils for all eternity"" said Peter, opening the gates. Just then a old lady appeared on the expanse of white clouds before Peter. ""What brings you here, my dear?"" ""St. Peter, I lived a long, happy life, but it …

Zulu lu [NSFW] John and Peter are visiting Amazon. While traveling through dense forest they unknowingly cross the boundary of a lesser know Zulu tribe. They both are captured and locked up to be punished by the tribal head. John is the first to be punished, he pleaded for his innocence, but due to language barrier he is not able to bring on his A game. The tribal head draws him two options Zulu lu or death, he only understands the symbol of death , terrified he chooses Zulu lu. He is taken to t…

Three guys die and go to heaven... They are met at the Pearly Gates by, of course, St. Peter. ""Welcome welcome!"" he shouted as they approached ""It's so good to see you! Are you ready to enjoy your eternity in Heaven?"" ""Yes yes of course we are!"" all three guys shouted over top of each other. ""Great!"" says Peter. ""But before I let you in I need to go over a few things that have changed recently. Over the past few years we have seen an enormous increase in population and to deal with that…