An engineering student moved back into his parent's house after graduating He spent a lot of his time hidden away in his room playing games and arguing with strangers on the internet. One day, he was having a particularly heated conversation on a forum about why Kilograms are a better unit of measurement than Pounds. Then his mother suddenly opened the door without knocking. Shocked, she let out a gasp and quickly turned away as he frantically closed all the tabs in his browser. Maybe that seems…

I need your parent's phone number so I can call you & hang up when they answer. Cause if I'm gonna crush on you, I'm doing it old school.

An oldie I heard in elementary school Little Johnny has just started kindergarten and doesn't know the alphabet. As things usually happen, the teacher asks Johnny to recite the alphabet. He tells her that he does not know the alphabet, so she tells him to go home and ask his parents to help him learn it. After school, he runs up the driveway and into the kitchen, where his mom is on the phone with a friend. As he runs in, he yells out ""MOM, WHAT'S THE ALPHABET?"" Being the wonderful mother that…

Father receives a super high phone bill, but he always makes his phone calls at work... so he asks his wife about it. She replies: ""It's not me, you know I always use the telephone on the grocery store I work at"". So he asks his son about it: ""It's not me, you know I always use the telephone at university."" Then he turns at his daughter: ""Not me either, I always use the one at school..."" Everybody turns the face to the foreign housekeeper that started last month: ""Why are you looking so a…