*angrily whispering over crib* "Sheila you know I was raised by wolves. I have to pay it forward." "But why do they need their own cribs?"

4 out of 5 dentists agree my cousin Sheila is remarkably ugly.

The Wedding Dress The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready, and nothing could dampen Jennifer's excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother, Sheila, had found the perfect dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her father's new young wife, Barb, had purchased the exact same dress! She asked Barb to exchange the dress, but Barb refused. ""Absolutely not! I'm wearing this dress. I look lik…

Sheila shows up to work one day, in tears and looking for comfort. The only person in the office that morning is John, not ideal, but Sheila carries on anyway. She relays her story to him: ""I left for work this morning, leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car stalled, about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back to get my husband's help. When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with the neighbor's daughter! When I confronted him, he broke down and adm…