Why did Russia close all of its airports? The planes were stalin.

A hostel in USSR A banker went to Moscow, and he stayed in a hostel on Moscow's outskirts. Only available room has three other people in it - a group of friends. He had a very important meeting the next day, but his roommates were loud; drinking, playing cards and telling jokes about communism, Lenin, Stalin and USSR. The banker, tired and sleepy, went to the reception. ""I'd like to order four teas to room 16, in 10 minutes"" he said to porter. Back in his room, he said loudly: ""Comrades, I he…

Stalin was addressing an assembly of peasants in Russia... And a man in the crowd sneezed. Stalin asked: who sneezed? No one responded. Stalin says to one of his KGB cronies 'walk up to the crowd, and shoot everyone in the front row.' So the guy shoots everyone in the front row. 'Now', Stalin says, 'who sneezed?' Again, no one responded. 'Shoot everyone in the second row', so everyone in the second row gets shot. Stalin, getting impatient, asks again: who sneezed? A man in the middle of the crow…

In 1940 Russia, a poor man with no car was late to his daughter's wedding. He hitchhiked there with an unexpected guest who drove very slowly. What did he tell his daughter? ""Sorry I'm late. My ride was Stalin.""