An elderly priest was found in the Vatican library weeping inconsolably... He had ancient manuscripts spread out in front of him. Some curators walked up to him and said ""What is the matter, Father?"" Between sobs, he replied: ""Some bastard dropped the 'R'. It was supposed to say CELEBRATE!""

Me:Thank you, he's so hot I don't even know what I want to do first...Grandma: (interrupting) Okay, can someone else say the prayer please?

[ouija board] hi grandma, i hope your in heaven and i love you "..y..o..u..'r..e.."

Sometimes I miss my grandfather, but I know he's up in heaven groping angel titties and saying some next level racist shit.