England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool

Ballerina A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, ""What man here will buy a lady a drink? The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, a bleary-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, ""Give the ballerina a drink! The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She …

An insect falls into a mug of beer Englishman : Throws his mug away and walks out. American : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer. Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away. Indian : Sells the beer to the American, insect to the Chinese and gets a fresh beer for himself. Pakistani : Accuses the Indian of putting the insect in his beer, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for Military aid and gets a loan from the American to buy another beer. He then moves to England and …

Northerners Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting. He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?' God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?' 'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.' 'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing dow…