An elderly couple die in a car wreck and appear at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greets them and invites them in. He takes them to a nearby car lot and tells them to choose a car. The old man says, "I can't afford any of those cars." St. Peter tells him not to worry about it, because it's Heaven and the cars are there for his use...Ferrari, Bentley, Mercedes...any model, any color, just swap them out whenever you feel like it. They get into a Bentley and St. Peter takes them to their new home.…

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

How I Want To Die I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the four other passengers in his car.

Stop me if you've heard this one before. Jim was suspicious that his wife had been cheating on him. He took off from work early to see if he could catch her in the act. Driving up to his apartment Jim caught a glimpse through an open window of a strange man walking around in his dining room. Now convinced his wife has been unfaithful, Jim stormed into the building and raced up the stairs. Fumbling with his keys at first, Jim burst through the door to find his wife standing in the hallway covered…