While they're a lot of fun on Halloween, did you know most jack-o'-lanterns end up at the pound? Please. Next year, carve a puppy.

Halloween election Year 2026: ""Dad, tell me a spooky halloween story."" ""Once upon a time there was an old man who wore a jack-o-lantern over his head so he would always be frowning to express that he never made enough money to satisfy his greed. Everyone made jokes about how he looked like an orange smurf with fake hair. He did not care. He liked the color orange bigly. One day he was attending a golf match and noticed a beautiful woman at the clubhouse. He cornered her, pressed his lips agai…

For Halloween, our daughter is dressing up as joke telling jack-o'-lantern. She's our little pun-kin.

Tattoo Very High Up on the Inner Thigh A sophisticated looking lady walks into a tattoo shop and sits down. The owner, amazed at seeing such a sophisticated lady in his shop, runs over immediately and asks if he could help her. To his shock and utter delight, she lifts up her silk skirt and points to her right inner thigh very high up. Right here,' she says, I want you to tattoo a jack-o-lantern and underneath it I want the word Halloween.' Then she points to her left thigh just as high up and …