An elderly couple's road trip around south east England *(Note for those unfamiliar with the British road network: 'A' roads are main, or arterial, roads and they are all identified by 'A' and a number.)* An elderly man is driving his wife on a road trip around the south east of England. Shortly after getting on to the A2, a police car signals them to pull over, and the old man obliges. The police officer walks up to the driver's side and the old man winds down the window. The policeman asks him…

An Australian is visiting England... He is from a small rural town and he does not know anything about traffic laws and street lights. He crosses a street and almost gets hit by a car. A police officer sees him and screams: "Oi! Did you come here to die?" The Australian replies with: "Nah mate, I came here yesterday!"

Cop: Know why I stopped you? The dead guy in my trunk? Cop: Um, speeding, but my shift's over, so proper burial and no more murders. Ok?

I have a clear conscience until a police car pulls behind me. Then I'm like "OH GOD WHAT IF I MURDERED SOMEONE DID I MURDER SOMEONE"