Me: *staring into mirror* Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary *skeleton bartender appears and slides me a drink* SB: $8.50, $8.50, $8.50

A man walks into a bar and sits at a table. He tells the waitress, ""I'll have a Bloody Mary and a menu."" When she returns with his drink, he asks ""Still serving breakfast?"" She says yes. ""Then I'll have two eggs-runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon ON END-well done on one end and still raw on the other, two pieces of burnt toast and a cold cup of coffee."" Indignantly the waitress says, ""We don't serve that kind of stuff in here!"" The man responds, ""Funny... that's …

A guy walks into a bar, takes off his hat and places it onto the counter. A duck jumps out. The bartender asks, ""Can I help you, sir?"" The guy orders a shot. The bartender asks the guy if his duck friend wants anything, and the duck says, ""I'll have a Bloody Mary."" ""Oh! You're a talking duck!"" the bartender says. ""What's your name?"" ""Houie,"" the duck says. The bartender gets him a drink on the house then asks him how his day went. The duck says, ""It went great. I've been in and out of…

Three vampires walk into a bar... The 1st vampire asks the bartender for a Bloody Mary, the bartender complies and gets him his drink. The 2nd vampire asks the bartender for a Blood Orange juice, the bartender, starting to sense a theme, gets the vampire his drink. The 3rd vampire asks the bartender for some hot water. The bartender confused why the vampire didn't order some blood related drink asks ""How come you don't want any bloody-type drink?"" The 3rd vampire then pulls out a used tampon a…