An Irishman visits the doctor and is told he is dying of cancer... Old Seamus visits the doctor and is told he is dying of cancer and has only a few months to live. He calls his son and invites him to meet him at the pub where he delivers the sad news. ""But son,"" he says, ""even on a gloomy occasion such as this one, 'tis our custom to drink to health and death alike, so let's raise a glass to the good times in our past and drown our sorrows about my impending demise."" The two of them make a …

Two Irishmen are going out for a drink... It was Friday night, and Mick and Seamus were trying to figure out where to go. ""I know!"" says Seamus, ""There's this great pub across town we ought to try."" ""What's so great about it?"" asks Mick. ""Well, when you first walk in the door, they give you a free drink. They you go upstairs for a free shag. When you get back downstairs, you can have another free drink. Then it's back upstairs for another free shag. You can go on all night, drinking for f…

Two Irishmen, who were the best of friends, made a pact. Two Irishmen, Seamus and Paddy, who were the best of friends, made a pact that when one died the other would pour a bottle of fine, aged, Irish whiskey over the grave of his deceased friend. The years went by and eventually Seamus passed away. As promised, Paddy purchased a bottle of fine Irish whiskey that had been aged for thirty years and took it out to the cemetery. He stared long and hard at the bottle and at Seamus's tombstone and a …

The job interview. Seamus was good at a lot of things, except working. Fed up with her freeloading son, Seamus' mom said that he had to get a job, and arranged an interview for him at the city hall in Dublin. So, on his way to the interview, Seamus decided to stop to have a pint or two for courage. Before he knew it, hours had passed and he had but fifteen minutes to get from the pub to downtown Dublin. He drove like a banshee and made it to the city hall with a minute to spare, but, as he circl…