My buddy's PRETTY drunk... So I took the car key off of his keychain... He's been trying to start his car with a house key for 4 hours now

Buddy's been driving all night, sees a roadside bar and stops for a much-needed cold beer. Bouncer says "sorry bud, gotta have a tie to get in". Buddy goes to his car, roots thru the trunk and can't find a tie. Grabs his jumper cables and wraps them around his neck. Bouncer says "cool man, come on in...just don't start anything". ....I'll see myself out now.

Wife: We need to go to the store. We're out of milk. Me: We can wait a few days. Wife: We're out of beer. Me: *dives in the car*

I bet when David Hasselhoff gets too drunk he roams the streets screaming "KITT!" When he can't find his car.