I used to be a comedian back in Newfoundland But I got sick of having to explain the jokes.

A Newfie family froze to death at a drive-in movie theater. They were watching ""Closed For The Season"" FYI Newfies are Canadians from Newfoundland. Newfie jokes are very similar to Polack jokes. Every region of the world has their ""Newfies"", and it's fun to find out what they are in different areas.

A man from Newfoundland has just moved to Calgary and enters a local pub. The bartender says, ""What'll it be?"" The Newfie says, ""Three pints of beer, please."" The bartender says, ""Are you waiting for someone else?"" The Newfie says, ""No, this is in honor of my two friends. We all took jobs on the mainland, and before we left we agreed that whenever we went to a pub we would order three pints of beer, one for each of us, so we'd have something to remember our friendship by."" The bartender …

Sent on a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his new Ford Fusion into a petrol station in a remote part of the countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Newfoundlander manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. ""How's ya gettin' on today, sir"" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick ""hello"" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. ""What are dose?"" Ask…