How many push-ups is too many when meeting your girlfriend's dad for the first time?

Alone. Once, there was a man who was so upset by his past deeds that he decided to visit a church and confess all of his sins. When he arrived at the church, he walked to the confession area and spoke to the pastor. ""Father, I am sinful."" ""Yes, son, just tell me what have you done, the Lord will forgive you."" ""Father, I have a steady relationship with my girlfriend, it's been 3 years and nothing serious ever happened between us. Yesterday, I visited her house, nobody was at home except for …

My father complained ""I've been using a dating app, but I'm only meeting Middle Eastern men."" Dad, you're using Uber.

A man goes to his girlfriend's parents house for Thanksgiving. Hes really nervous. This is his first time meeting her family and he's not sure what to expect. In fact, he's so nervous that it's giving him gas. Now, sitting there watching tv in the family room isn't bad because the the football game is on and it's kind of loud and of course their big old dog Harold is licking his balls and Everyone can hear that. It's not bad, because he can sit there and fart into the couch. No one hears a thing…