My dad has a great idea for Donald Trump's campaign slogan. ""Vote for me in 2016 or there'll be hell toupee.""

A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks for?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move." "Oh", said the man. "Whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Teresa's", replied St. Peter. "The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie." "Incredible", said the man. "And whose …

Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name But Imma call you "Hal" for short, 'k, Chief?

A lady told me that Autism is punishment for the sins of the parent. That is the story of me punching a lady in a church parking lot.