A Plane is Crashing over the Atlantic A plane is halfway between New York and London when the pilot announces to the passengers that two engines have failed, and that they will be making an emergency landing in about 30 minutes. Most of the passengers are relatively calm, except for a woman in the back of the plane, who is in absolute hysterics. She is screaming and crying, until she stands up and shouts, ""Please! Before I die, I want someone in here to make me feel like a real WOMAN!"" A tall,…

People keep telling me that I have a higher chance of getting mugged in London than in New York. Well, what do they expect, I don't live in New York.

My flight from New York to London just landed. As we were landing, the captain said ""Ladies and gentlemen, here we are in London. Our flight today has taken six hours and twenty seven minutes."" I shouted ""Is that a record?"" The captain replied ""No, it's me talking.""

Two blondes were on a plane flying from London to New York An hour into the flight, a loud explosion was heard and the plane shook, alarming all the other passengers. After a few minutes, the captain announced ""One of our engines has malfunctioned. However, we have three engines left but that would mean that our flight would be an hour longer. Thank you for your patience"". Thirty minutes later, another boom was heard and captain announced ""One more engine has failed and the flight will be two…