A Plane is Crashing over the Atlantic A plane is halfway between New York and London when the pilot announces to the passengers that two engines have failed, and that they will be making an emergency landing in about 30 minutes. Most of the passengers are relatively calm, except for a woman in the back of the plane, who is in absolute hysterics. She is screaming and crying, until she stands up and shouts, ""Please! Before I die, I want someone in here to make me feel like a real WOMAN!"" A tall,…

The Trump family is flying from New York to Washington Donald looks down on the cities below and says ""I think I'll throw a $100 bill out the window and make some American happy."" Melania says ""Oh honey, why not throw ten $10 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"" So then Ivanka says, ""Even better Daddy, throw 100 one dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy? To which the pilot says ""Why don't you all jump out the window and make the whole damn country happy?""

So this blonde is at an airport... So this blonde is at an airport and she needs a flight to New York from California. She goes up to the desk and asks if there are any tickets left. The flight attendant tells her that she is very sorry but they are all sold out. The blonde begs for any way of her to get there. The flight attendant says they have a helicopter and asks if the blonde can fly it. The blonde says yes and goes to the helicopter. She hops in and starts it up, and it goes higher and hi…

A car collector from New York finally gets the Datsun he's been looking for, Unfortunately it was missing a few key parts to get it up and running. He takes it to his mechanic. The mechanic says ""you need some specific gear parts here - these cogs over here, you'll need two of them. You can only get them from this specialty parts dealer, and he's in California. The man decides to make a trip of it and goes out west. He finds the dealer and decides to buy a whole case of the parts and give the e…