A doctor and his wife were having lunch... ...and a beautiful young woman walks by and winks at the doctor suggestively. She cooes, ""How's it goin', doc?"" and walks away, hips swaying. The wife, confused, asks, ""Who was that, dear?"" The doctor took a sip of his wine and said casually, ""That's my mistress Arielle."" The wife was shocked and in tears. ""I can't believe you're cheating on me! I'm going to divorce you and take everything you have, you lying bastard!"" The husband calmly puts hi…

A lawyer was getting out of his BMW one day... ...when an 18 wheeler came by and ripped the door right off his car. He quickly called the police, and when a patrol car arrived he began a rant, screaming ""Cahps, cahps, look what they did to mah beemah!"" The cop replies ""You lawyers are so materialistic! Haven't you noticed you left arm got ripped off by the truck!"" The lawyer proceeds to look down and check, and sure enough his left arm has been ripped off by the joint. In complete, utter dis…

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper. ""Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I'm leaving my name address and other particulars. But I'm not.""

A lawyer was in his BMW... ...when he opened the door to get out, an oncoming truck hit the door, ripping it off, and went on. The lawyer calls the cops. Lawyer (Whining) : Officer, look what happened to my beamer. Officer : You lawyers are so materialistic it makes me sick. You are so worried about your car that you did not notice that your arm is missing as well. Lawyer (in shock) : Oh my God! Where's my Rolex?