Bad days One day god was talking to st peter. ""We do not have enough souls in heaven. So from here on out if anyone was having a bad day before they died let them in"". St peter nodded before returning back to the gates. He sees the first person and asks about their day. It was horrible, I come home and i know my wife was cheating. I ran outside and saw the bastard hanging from the balcony rail. So i kick his fingers and watched him fall. He lived so picked up the fridge and threw it at him. In…

Reddit army tell me all the jesus jokes you know! here is mine: St. Peter was guarding the Pearly Gates, waiting for new souls coming to heaven. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. ""Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?"" ""Sure,"" replied Jesus. ""What do I have to do?"" ""Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven."" ""Sounds easy enough. OK."" So Jesus mann…

There was a support group for ugly people. and each month when they would meet, there would be a small bus to pick them all up and take them to the meeting. Well one stormy night after picking everyone up the bus driver lost control of the bus on a bridge and it plummeted into the water and all of those hideous ugly people drowned. So they go to heaven and St. Peter is there and he says ""Wow, you guys had it rough! I mean look at you!"" and then he says ""You know what? I am going to give each …

A meeting at the Pearly Gates St. Peter was guarding the Pearly Gates, waiting for new souls coming to heaven. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?" "Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?" "Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven." "Sounds easy enough. OK." So Jesus manned the gates for St. Peter. The first p…