Why did Santa start the Christmas tradition? Mrs. Clause overheard Santa on the phone: Santa: ""Have you been naughty? ....That actually sounds nice. You can sit on my lap and tell me what you want while those wet stockings dry ..... I want to (come) down your chimney and eat your (cookie). What kind of (toys) should I bring?.... Yes, I'd love to see how you trimmed your (fir) ... I just want to unload my (sack) when I see an angel on top. "" Now, every year he has to keep doing the bullshit lie…

Why Santa got involved with Christmas Mrs. Clause overheard Santa on the phone: Santa: “Have you been naughty? ….That actually sounds nice. You can sit on my lap and tell me what you want while those wet stockings dry ….. I want to (come) down your chimney and eat your (cookie). What kind of (toys) should I bring?…. Yes, I’d love to see how you trimmed your (fir) … I just want to unload my (sack) when I see an angel on top. “ Now, every year he has to keep doing the bullshit lie he told.

I call McDonald's to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone

For Halloween I'm just gonna talk shit to complete strangers and go as the internet.