There's an airplane flying from North America to South America... ... after a while over South America the captain makes an announcement: ""Dear passengers, in a few minutes we will experience some turbulences, please stay seated and wait for further information!"" Some minutes later the plane shakes and moves from right to left, up and down. The captain again: ""Ok, you felt the turbulences; we are too heavy to continue this flight and will have to lose weight immediately in order not to crash …

Guy with a cat wins the lottery So he gets extended leave from his job, packs his things and buys a ticket for South America. Problem is, he needs someone to take care of his cat. So he calls a friend. "Hey John, I need you to take care of my cat for 3 months". "Three months?!" "Yeah, but don't worry, all you need to do is feed her a 3 times a day, change her sand, play with her a bit and, god forbid, take her to the vet if she needs anything". "Damn, so... what if she..." "I have a plan f…

What's the difference between an alpaca and your Mom? One is a hairy beast that spits, the other is native to South America.

What's the difference between your mom and an alpaca? One's a hairy beast that spits and the other's native to South America.