What's the difference between your mom and an alpaca? One's a hairy beast that spits and the other's native to South America.

There's an airplane flying from North America to South America... ... after a while over South America the captain makes an announcement: ""Dear passengers, in a few minutes we will experience some turbulences, please stay seated and wait for further information!"" Some minutes later the plane shakes and moves from right to left, up and down. The captain again: ""Ok, you felt the turbulences; we are too heavy to continue this flight and will have to lose weight immediately in order not to crash …

Light bulb jokes How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the Diet Coke and one to call daddy. How many real men does it take to change a light bulb? Real men aren't afraid of the dark. How many militant feminists does it take to change a light bu..THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!! How many Altzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side. How many attention-deficit-disorder-kids does it take to change a light bulb? Look, a bunny. Ho…

What causes arthritis? A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fel…