Hey guys do you believe in the Zodiac? I do , I'm a Leo , I loved Titantic. Ironically,my grandmother was a cancer and she was killed by a giant crab . EDIT : Yes this is a Bo Burnham joke , I just want people to enjoy it before people call me out.

My grandma sent the entire newspaper to me in the subject line of an email.

[family game night] Me: do u understand now, grandma? U understand the rules now? Mum [tappin my shoulder]: she gets it. Loosen the headlock

Fun Fact: I love it when Americans whose Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather emigrated from Ireland say "I'm Irish". No.