Q: Why are the citizens of Damascus so solemn when talking about oil? A: Because it's Syria's business. (cross-post from /r/funny by request)

Who was first in Transylvania? Thousands of years ago, the ancestor of the Hungarians Attila the Hun came to Transylvania. He saw a beautiful lake, left his gilded armor, his Damascus sword and his white stallion on the shore and went for a swim. When he got out of the lake - armor was gone, sword was gone and the horse was nowhere to be found. ​ Now you tell me - who were the first in Transylvania, Romanians or Hungarians? (Romanian joke :-) )

Can anyone explain this joke for me? I just don't get it, so it is either meant to be absurd/nonsensical or I am missing historical context: Q:What do you know about Damascus? A:It kills 99% of germs.

Why should civil war be taken seriously? Because it's Syria's business.