During the collapse of the Soviet Union... ... An elderly woman is surveyed by the government to conclude what the state of mind of the populous is. **Survey man**: Where were you born? **Woman**: St. Petersburg **Survey man**: Where do you live now? **Woman**: Leningrad **Survey man**: If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? **Woman**: St. Petersburg EDIT: Formatting.

"That Will Smith is a nice young man, I hope he wins Celebrity Apprentice." No Grandma, that's Ben Carson and this is the Republican Debate

Steven King, Dean Koontz and Anne Rice have all announced their retirement stating: Nothing we write will ever be scarier than this election

[2050] "Grandpa, how did President Trump ever get elected?" Well, we were a bit distracted. That was the year adult coloring books came out