A Man Gets A Phone Call About His Wife Being In A Car Crash A man gets a phone call. He finds out his wife's been in a bad car accident. He rushes to the hospital and the doctor says: ""Look I got bad news, it was a horrifying accident ; your wife will be crippled from the neck down, you'll have to feed and bathe her, you'll have to continually clear out her every orifice, and you're gonna have to change her because she has no control over her bladder..."". The man starts crying hysterically : "…

Did you hear about the LEGO truck that crashed on the highway? Authorities are still trying to piece everything together...

What's going on? A policeman passes a parking lot around midnight and notices a couple in a parked car. He stops to investigate and sees a man in the driver's seat and a young lady in the backseat, quietly reading a magazine. The officer knocks on the window and asks whats going on. "Listening to music," the guy says. Pointing toward the lady in the backseat, the officer asks, "And what's she doing?" "Reading a magazine, of course." "How old are you?" asks the officer. "I'm 28." "And how …

Some funny pick up lines Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your eyes. If your left leg is Halloween, and your right leg is Christmas, CAN I COME IN BETWEEN HOLIDAYS? My love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in. If i said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me? Nice legs...what time do they open? Um…I have a lotta money. Hey baby, did you just break wind? Cause you're blowing me away. Hey. Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you …