An unsung legacy of Bill Clinton's presidency is that since he left office, no sitting President has shot a load on a non-spouse.

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can both smell it, but they'll get fired if they eat it!

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with The Devil... The Devil: Why so glum? Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell. The Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here... You a drinking' man? Guy: Sure, I love to drink. The Devil: Well you're gonna love Mondays. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, beer ...we drink until we throw up and then we dr…

A guy starts a new job... A guy works at a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." He worked the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him." So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a goo…