Bill and Ted were at a bar... Bill asked, ""Hey where's Dave? Why isn't he here tonight?"" ""Dave is dead,"" said Ted. ""How?"" Ted said, ""Well, he was supposed to pick me up, but when he got to my house, he hit my Ferrari in the driveway, flew through his own windshield, and crashed through my kitchen window."" ""What a terrible way to die!"" ""Well, no, that didn't kill him. He tried to get up off of my kitchen floor, and he grabbed the handle of my refrigerator door for balance, but the frid…

Bring me a beer before it begins! Dad loves to tell this joke whenever he gets the opportunity: A guy comes home, takes off his coat and make his way to the living room. He turns on the tv and catches a game. He sits on his favorite couch then kick back and relax. He then adress his wife in the kitchen ""Honey! bring me a cold one from the fridge befores it begins !"" And so the wife brings him a beer from the fridge which he prompty drinks. ""Honey! an other cold one befores it begins"", the ma…

My girlfriend and my refrigerator So after a long day at work I come home to an empty house. I proceed to the kitchen where I find a note from my girlfriend. "" this isn't working, I'm sorry but I just can't take it, I'm going yo go live with my mother"" But then I opened the fridge the light came on and the beer was cold. What the hell was she talking about?

My last roommate was vegan This happened two years ago. We were having a bbq before a game and he prepared some veggie burgers and I made some meat burgers. He mushed his veggie burgers up real good and it actually looked like meat after we cooked them. We put the leftovers in the fridge and went to the game. When we got back I was a little bit drunk and was hungry so I opened the fridge and grabbed what I thought was the left over meat burgers. It was a mis steak.