What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks.

What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common? They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.

You lied! Santa Claus is NOT real, mom! If "mom" is even your real name... [Neighbor to mom] hi Susan! *kid faints*

just saw a church sign that says, "santa claus never died for anyone." and i'm like, "okay well jesus never brought me a barbie dreamhouse."