They don't seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts. Sad.

Mick and Paddy on the quiz show Two irishmen called Mick and Paddy go to UK s quiz show Mastermind in hopes of showing how smart they are. Mick goes to the chair, while Paddy sits with the audience. In comes the show s host Magnus Magnusson: *Magnus*: ""what is your choice of subject?"" *Mick*: ""Irish history"". *Magnus*: ""First question- when was the Battle of the Boyne fought?"" There is a long silence while the crowd awaits the answer. *Mick*: ""Pass"". *Magnus*: ""Second question- When was…

Old but gold! A country preacher had a teenage son, and it was time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects: A bible, a silver dollar, a bottle of Jack Daniels, and a Playboy magazine. 'I'll just hide behind th…

My physics teacher told me a joke today A physicist, a poet and a politician are sentenced to death by guillotine during the French Revolution. The poet is picked first. He stands by as the blade is raised, then he is asked, ""Would you rather be face up or face down?"" ""Down,"" he says. They place him in the guillotine, the blade is raised, there is a drum roll, and the executioner pulls the cord releasing the blade... and it hangs up halfway down! Now, there was (in this story) a rule against…