An Eskimo was fishing on the polar ice cap at a time of year when there were twenty-three hours of sunshine a day. After eighteen hours, his butt was numb with cold, so he packed up his gear and headed back to his igloo. There, he hung up his sealskin coat and was just tucking into his seal steak dinner when his wife said: "Ingit?" "What?" he said without changing his expression. "I've got some news for you." "What?" he said through clenched teeth. "Your mother-in-law has slipped on the ice and broken her hip." Again his expression didn't change, but he picked up a frozen herring from the table and smacked his wife on the head with the fish. "Ow!" she yelled. "What did you do that for?" "I've told you before: don't make me laugh when I've got chapped lips." FAMILIES I come from a very traditional family. When I was seven, my Uncle Terry hanged himself on Christmas Eve. My family didn't take his body down until the 6th of January. Nick Doody