A father said to his son: "Did you see Father Christmas this year, son?" "No," replied the boy, "it was too dark to see him. But I heard what he said when he stubbed his toe on the edge of my bed." I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. The paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it, so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it. Demetri Martin