I got kicked out of the casino in Las Vegas. I didn't cheat. I just misunderstood what the craps table was for.

"C'mon, your relationship isn't *that* serious." - Las Vegas

A Native American man walks into a hotel in Las Vegas. The receptionist asks, ""Do you have a reservation?""

If there's ever a zombie outbreak, it should happen in Las Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.