“Hello! Hello!” exclaimed the elderly woman upon answering the telephone. “Who is this?” “Albert.” “Who? I can’t hear a word you say.” “Albert” shouted the young man. “A-l-b-e-r-t. A for Arthur, L for Lionel, B for Bertram, E for Edward, R for Robert, T for Tommie.” “Yes, yes” replied the old lady. “But which of you boys wants to speak to me!?”

ME: you don't look anything like your profile photo TINDER DATE: LOL no, that's my pug, Arthur *silence for 10mins* ME: is Arthur coming or

Nursing home Arthur is in a nursing home after the death of his wife and he feels depressed. Betty notices this and asks if there is anything she can do. He says 'well my wife used to sit with me in the evenings and just hold it for me. I miss that touch.' Betty is a game and a kind woman so she takes to doing this for him. Every night they sit in the garden watching the sunset with her just holding his manhood. Then one day she goes to meet him in the garden but finds Gloria, a new resident, in…

Not sure if this goes here or /r/racism... A black woman walks into the human resource department to apply for welfare. The woman at the office asks the black woman how many kids she has. The black woman replies, ""Eight."" The woman at the office says, ""Well, what are their names?"" The black woman replies, ""Lionel."" The woman at the office said, ""Well, what about the second one?"" The black woman replies, ""Lionel."" The woman at the office gives her a strange look and says, ""Okay, what a…