Second Person Jokes

A plane crashes There were 152 people on a plane. It gets hijacked and crashed, and everyone on it dies. God says they all get one wish because of how tragically they died. The first man wishes for himself not to be ugly, the second person wishes she was skinnier. They all wish for something that improves their appearance. Halfway through the line God notices a man in the back laughing hysterically. The closer he gets to the back the harder the man laughs. When he gets to the last man he asks w…

3 men are ship-wrecked on an island Where they are captured by cannibals. The cannibal leader says he'll let them live if they go out in the forest and grab 10 of the same fruit. They all run off, when after a while the first person comes back with 10 apples. The cannibal leader then says, "You must shove them up your ass without any facial expression, and then you will live." The man tries but he winces after the third apple and was killed on the spot. The second person comes back with 10 ch…

Something on our Sausages THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED TODAY I had to go to the corner shop to get some bread and ketchup as we ran out yesterday. I went in got my medium warburtons loaf and the classic bottle of heinz beans and joined the queue. When I was the second person to the counter the man in front of me put down some condoms I then proceeded to put the ketchup directly behind the condoms The man then looked at the condoms and ketchup and turned to look me in the eye Then (I think it w…

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous." God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was lau…

A person in a lab coat places a glass half-filled with a yellow liquid in front of 4 people. Immediately, the first person pipes up, "Ah, I see the glass is half full!" This person is an optimist. The second person states, "Naw man, why would he bring us a half-full glass? He obviously drank some. It's now half empty." This person is a pessimist. The third person scoffs, "Why must you two argue? It's just a glass with liquid in it." This person is a realist. While the three of them bic…

Here’s my cake day joke Me: Bruce and I are teaming up for a 3 member mission and are looking for a second person. Would you like to join us? Them: Uhh... do you mean a third person? Me: Bruce is 3rd person, I is first person, you is second person

Hi, I'm Buzz Aldrin. Second person to step on the moon. Neil before me.

Probably been here before, but I heard this one at summer camp The old man who lives in the tall bell tower needed someone to help him with ringing the bell, as he was getting too old. The first person who arrived was like the old man and was not strong enough to produce a loud sound with the bell. The second person who showed up was a boy who had no arms. The old man asked "How are you going to ring the bell with no arms?" The boy runs full-force into the bell with his head and it produces …