*donates body to science* Science: "I have a boyfriend"

HER: I'm leaving you ME: But why? HER: There's just no chemistry between us anymore CHEMISTRY: Wow, I'm like right here

*throws a rock at a bird* Me [writing in "science" journal]: birds don't like rocks.

My roommate wouldn't let me name our wireless network 'Bill Wi the Science Fi' because he has no sense of humor.