As an only child with a pet cat that bullied me, the pool cleaning robot was my closest friend.

A guy calls his girlfriend on the phone.. - Boyfriend: Sweetie, do you know how much I love you? - Girlfriend: How much baby? - Boyfriend: I would go thru fire, swim in the ocean full of sharks, climb all the mountains, survive in the desert like Bear Grylls, fight with bears and lions, even fight with Chuck Norris and all of the expendables cast if I have to, just to see your beautiful smile.. - Girlfriend: Aawww, you're so sweet! Why don't you come over? - Boyfriend: How about tomorrow baby, i…

A penguin's car breaks down so he takes it to the mechanic... A penguin's car breaks down on a hot summer day so he has it towed to his mechanic, who is a polar bear. The mechanic tells him it will take about an hour before he can get to the car, so the penguin takes a walk around the neighborhood. He stops at a magazine stand and gets a paper, buys an ice cream cone from a nearby shop, and picks up a toy robot for his kid. He heads back to the mechanic's shop, happily licking up his ice cream a…

What did the baby sheep say to its mother on the phone? ""Miss ewe!""