wife: dont say anythin stupid on the way out me: i wont [shakes priest's hand after lovely wedding ceremony] me: so are you god's boyfriend?

SOMEBODY: she had a boyfriend who looked like that girlfriend that you had in february of last year ME: what the hell are you talking about

A woman was arrested when her boyfriend's body was found in a freezer in their living room. Who the hell puts a freezer in the living room?

Dating tip: Men find mysterious woman alluring, so keep the spark alive by occasionally acting like a lunatic possessed by the devil.