Brian's Eggs Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell fast asleep. When Brian awoke a few hours later he found a strange man was standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?" The mysterious Man answered, "This isn't your bedroom, and I'm St Peter". B…

Bryan came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" Demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?". The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter". Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be,…

Wife: [holding old dog] I thought you took care of this yesterday Stormtrooper husband: *looks out back to see gun marks all over the yard*

WIFE: get down here! ME: *from telephone wire* I'm with my friends WIFE: why are u wearing fake wings? ME: *to bird next to me* they're real