A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband... A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. ""What are you doing?"", she asked. ""Hunting Flies"" he responded. ""Oh, Killing any?"" she asked. ""Yup. 3 males. 2 females"" He responded. Intrigued, she asked. ""How can you tell?"" He responded, ""3 were on the beer can, and 2 were on the phone"" *Incredible*

A woman walks into a bar... She sits down and orders a drink. ""Just give me anything,"" she says. A female bartender, new on the job, notices the woman applying a thin layer of lipstick with trembling hands. ""Are you... okay?"" ""What this? This ain't anything new."" She pauses. ""It's the crime. This town seems overrun by it. Every day there is a new bad guy and who do they call to straighten things out?"" ""The police?"" asks the bartender innocently. ""Try again."" The patron takes out her …

In the land of Cheerios... In the land of Cheerios there is a cast system. At the top there are the king and queen Cheerios, next come the noble Cheerios, then the night Cheerios who are responsible for law enforcement in the land, then come the peasant Cheerios who are somewhat oppressed but work hard and get by, and then there are the gangster Cheerios who break the rules and steal from other hard working Cheerios. Some gangster Cheerios however were born into the gangster Cheerios cast, and w…

The $40 joke Steve is going out for his buddy's bachelor party. It's been planned for months. He gets home from work and quickly starts getting ready. His lady, Tina, surprises him with a fancy dress shirt for the big night. ""Aw thanks babe, it's amazing"". She tells him it was really expensive but ""he's worth it and it's a big night"". He leaves and meets the lads at the bar. No time for food, apparently and they dive straight into shooters. 8 shots in, no food and Steve stands up and pukes a…