[cop taps on my fogged up car window on make-out hill] ME: *alone holding a huge steamy bucket of fried chicken* what's the problem officer

Last night a horse asked me if I was planning on driving home. There might've been a cop on top of it.

'Why are they arresting that dog?!? What did he do?!?' --my 6yo upon seeing a police dog sitting in the back of a police car

[police car behind me] Me: shit, was that a red light back there? My dog: like a light grey Me: ... My dog: if that helps