St. Peter: Why should I let you into heaven? Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here

All human beings are threads interwoven in the great tapestry of life, except for that one guy at your office. What the hell is his problem?

Coworker: My husband's an angel. Me: You're lucky.. mine's still alive.

My Wife: Why are you home so early? Me: My boss told me to go to hell