Block the toddler from the kitchen while I sweep left, handoff the baby, pass you a bottle and take a shower. On 2. Go! Football parenting

You can stop advertising pizza and beer during football. People who watch football know about them.

Why do women try to talk football? Do you see me in the kitchen discussing dishwashing strategies? No. You don't.

Nothing says "I'm an American" more than ordering a pizza online and tweeting about it and then hating soccer.