I can't believe I didn't get an Oscar nomination for my performance in, "No, I never got your text!"#Oscar#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I like giving names to my furniture Right now i'm chillin' with Oscar the Couch#Oscar#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Just got nominated for an Oscar for my role as "man surprised his credit card was declined"#Oscar#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I deserve an Oscar for acting like I can see a baby when someone shows me an ultrasound pic#Oscar#Kids#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp