Mechanic: what seems to be the problem? Me: nice try buddy, that's what I'm paying you for

*sees a car with a "how am i driving" bumper sticker* *calls the phone number* ME: buddy i think it's with a steering wheel

A Loving Grandpa A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle; and for fruit, cereal and soda in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Grandad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, ""Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy."" Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, ""It's okay, William, j…

A co-worker is selling her car... She tells me, ""The problem is my car has over 150,000 miles so no one will give me more than $6,000 for it, and I need at least $10,000 to get a new car."" I fill her in: ""I have a friend who is a car mechanic. He can 'fix' your mileage issue. You'll have a new car in no time."" So I get her car on a Friday to give it to my buddy for the weekend. I get it back to her with only 75,000 miles on the odometer. ""Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!"" she exclaimed.…