My doctor told me to get a lot of rest and fluids so I've been on a drunk rage in my bedroom since 1988.

The worst thing about turning up at the ER drunk at 4am is explaining to the nurse that my 9 year old drove here.

The doctor said to treat my daughter's scratch with alcohol, so I kissed it.

My doctor suggested I use ice to reduce the pain. But I think this whiskey tastes just fine without it.